


Sassy Mouths and Questionable Personal Hygiene

by iwantcandy2



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, giving sass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1574915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwantcandy2/pseuds/iwantcandy2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Equius and Sollux both have the same problem: they get so wrapped up in projects they forget to take care of themselves. And hey, the mote in thy neighbor's eye, am I right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sassy Mouths and Questionable Personal Hygiene

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladysekhmetka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladysekhmetka/gifts).



> For the prompt:  
> Sollux Captor, Equius Zahhak  
> Summary:  
> I like to see these two just working quietly together on projects in the same room. Cute fluffy pale/flush moments like making sure they don't work to hard or that they make it to coon if they fall asleep. Maybe some sexy times, but nothing too 'deviant', I feel these two would be kinda vanilla in that regard.
> 
> Just a real quickie.

“When was the last time you slept?”

“When was the last time you showered?”

“You smell worse than I do.”

Equius bristled, then took an exploratory sniff of himself. He recoiled in disgust.

“I suppose that is true, but you shouldn’t be so blunt about it.”

“Also,” Sollux continued, crossing his arms, “I bet you haven’t eaten since you started working on that new auto-balance upgrade for Tavros.”

“You’re one to talk about not eating, you upstart peasant. Your body density is 90% bone and 10% unwarranted sass.”

“Sass doesn’t have mass, you lummox,” Sollux sneered.

“I was attempting to illustrate a point using figurative language. But I see you cannot be reasoned with. I am confiscating your computer until you have properly rested.”

Before Sollux had stopped sputtering in surprise, Equius had ripped his entire silicomb network from its frame, hoisting it over his head.

“You can have this back after you’ve eaten something. And showered.”

“That’s- no- you can’t- you asshole! You can’t just boss me around like that!”

“Can and did. Know your place, lowblood.”

“Well…well you’ve lost robot privileges until you eat a full meal. And stop stinking like an overweight oinkbeast.”

Equius paused, halfway to the door and balancing 500 pounds of beehive on one shoulder.

“Is…is that an order?”

Sollux rolled his eyes, trying to smother a grin. It was like trying to hold in a sneeze.

“Yes, that is an order.”

“Fine,” Equius acquiesced, “but I am still taking your computer until further notice.”

“Fine. You’re still a smelly weirdo.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Equius gently eased the silicomb slab out the doorway. With a sigh, Sollux followed after. Might as well make sure the ox didn’t break the thing.

“So…there’s only one shower in this hive,” he pointed out, trotting behind him. “And we both need to use it.”

“Correct. Your point?”

“Well…do you wanna share?”

Equius stopped, and Sollux almost ran into him. It would be like hitting the broad side of a barn.

“Is that an order?” Equius asked, voice a hoarse whisper.

Sollux sighed in exasperation.

“No. It’s just a suggestion, and you’re free to take it or leave it.”

“Oh.”

There was a moment’s pause.

“I think,” Equius continued, “that I would like to, yes.”

Sollux smiled so wide he almost split his lip on his fangs.

“Good. I’ll be waiting.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my other stories! They may not have Equius/Sollux, but they do have sassy mouths (and occasionally questionable personal hygiene).


End file.
